How to Stay Supported
Giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic has left many families struggling to stay supported during life’s most important and intimate moment.
I cannot think of an industry or group of people not affected in some way by the COVID-19 pandemic ravaging the world, and there is no doubt that the ripple effects will continue into the weeks and months ahead.
As a birth photographer, it has affected my business, and while I am fearful for my future, my biggest fears are for the families I serve. My current clients won’t have their births documented during the pandemic due to hospital restrictions and stay-at-home orders.
I completely understand the necessity of restricting visitors, and even immediate family members to ensure the safety of patients and staff within the hospitals, and to slow the spread of the virus.
Yet, my heart hurts that women will be without the support teams they had planned for. At such a vulnerable time in life, being isolated from family, children, and your support team can have strong effects on women and how they process their birth, including the emotions, physical changes, and challenges they face not only during birth but in the weeks and months that follow.
Most families hire me early on in their pregnancies, seeing the emotional impact that documenting their birth holds. I believe that value to my core; I have seen how important it is for so many women and families in processing their birth stories.
Rather than focus on the loss of not being able to be there physically for my clients, I hope that this post will bring real tips and advice on how to navigate this period despite the obstacles, and hopefully help you to feel supported even though it may look different.
With some changes to your birth plan and hopefully with some tips here, you can be prepared!
Talk To Your Support Team
Talk to your spouse, partner, or whoever will be your support person. Have conversations about what your anticipated needs are. Of course, birth is completely unpredictable; even having given birth before, each can look so different. Talking about ways language and touch normally bring you comfort can really help. Don’t assume that your support person will know exactly what you need. Offering each other grace throughout will go a long way. I have had families come up with code words for when they need introspective time with no touch or verbal cues, and vice versa; code words for when they are needing that extra verbal, moral, and physical support.
Talk to your extended support team as well. Even though they can’t physically be present for you, their words of encouragement and support can go a long way. Coming up with a plan of when and how you will communicate with each other will help; that way, there are no hurt feelings—perhaps deciding on whether they should reach out to you at set intervals or whether to wait for you to reach out when you are ready. Decide if you prefer phone calls, FaceTime, or texts. Sometimes, seeing your children’s faces via FaceTime can breathe life back into you.
This can be so vital for your support person as well, who often needs those words of encouragement. Remind your extended birth team to check on him or her as well.
Birth can be long and drawn out and just hearing that you are doing a good job and are loved and supported can go a long way for both of you!
Consider Hiring a Doula
You may not have even considered hiring a doula with the restrictions in place because of COVID-19. Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Why would I hire a doula that can’t even be there in person?” I would argue the opposite, doulas are such a great resource and support for women and their families, and their roles can be even more vital during this time! Many doulas are currently offering virtual services that will benefit you not only during your labor, delivery, and postpartum period but through those first weeks at home navigating breastfeeding and all that goes into caring for a newborn without the physical support of family and friends.
The role of the doula is to provide continuous emotional and physical support and information before birth with information on research and choices.
They can help with comfort measures like massage, suggesting different positions, and helping with relaxation breathing. They encourage communication with doctors and nursing staff (a doula does not give medical advice or interfere with the doctor/mother relationship).
Supporting the father or birth partner is the best way to support the mother. A doula never replaces the very important role of the birth partner, and a good doula will help the birth partner by offering suggestions and tips on ways to be supportive. Providing real-time feedback and suggestions to assist you physically and emotionally during all phases of labor and delivery can be vital.
Doula support is helpful not only during labor but also during the postpartum period.
During the postpartum period, when women are even more isolated during stay-at-home orders and social distancing recommendations, this support is even more vital. Needing help with breastfeeding and general questions about newborn care can be even more challenging with mothers more isolated than ever. With the increased risk of postpartum depression, having that support to encourage you and provide real feedback on how you are doing is vital. Although they can’t be there physically, being able to let you know you are not alone in your feelings and fears can, on its own, provide so much comfort.
I will link to some of these resources at the end of this post.
Communicate with your nurse and obstetrician/midwife.
As a retired labor and delivery nurse of 19 years here in the Las Vegas valley (2000-2019), I can tell you that keeping an open line of communication with your nurse and obstetrician or midwife can be so important in ensuring there is no miscommunication. Communication helps in keeping your wishes honored and information about procedures clear.
Their hearts hurt for you during this period. They understand how scary it can be to be in the hospital away from your family, friends, and children during this pandemic.
Your labor nurse is by far the person you will spend the most time within the hospital setting. With 12-hour shifts, she will spend long periods with you and is there to care for you and your baby. She is also a great resource for your support person to ensure they are supported, encouraged, and held. Lean on her and the support she can provide.
Talk to your obstetrician or midwife ahead of time about the current hospital restrictions and what you can expect. Talk about your fears and wishes. I believe miscommunication is the most common cause of hurt and pain in the birth setting.
DO YOUR BEST TO DOCUMENT YOUR OWN BIRTH
And lastly, I highly suggest doing your best to still document your birth. Documenting your birth can be so important in healing and processing birth’s emotions. Your birth may be long and drawn out, with so much of it becoming a blur, or it may be so fast and intense that just laboring on its takes every ounce of your concentration. Your baby may go to the warmer, and while you are being cleaned up and monitored after delivery, not seeing those moments up close can be hard.
My clients hold, look at, and watch many moments over and over in the periods following their births. I have clients who watch their birth films over and over that first year and again each birthday.
Don’t be afraid to ask your nurse and staff to help capture images of you together, your support partner, etc., when they can. Often, you need to ask; they are almost always happy to oblige!
I created a guide for my upcoming birth clients with suggestions on how to document your own birth in hopes that it will help them with real tips and guidance. I am happy to share it, contact me here and I will send it to you when you sign up for my newsletter.
Although one of many reasons I am passionate about documenting birth is that it allows your support and birth team to be present IN the images and footage. Things may not be as you envisioned them during this time, but they can still be wonderful!
Friday, April 17th, 2020
A Las Vegas Home Birth Story
This beautiful mama found me after they moved to Las Vegas as she began her search for a midwife and birth photographer. I am so happy she found me! They had so much to do while searching for care after moving mid-pregnancy, finding care they felt confident in, and organizing their new home.
I was even more excited that she also wanted to document their pregnancy.
I really love being able to document not only your birth (my true passion), but also more of your journey through maternity, Fresh 48, and newborn sessions. It really tells more of your story, and the story always has my heart.
I have loved having more and more clients this year request in-home maternity and family sessions! I think they have such an intimate feel to them, and I love including the elements of your own home. After all, your home is where your memories together will be made!
Shooting their maternity session in their home was also great because Nicole planned on giving birth at home, so we could have our consult and an opportunity for me to take a look at the areas she would be using for her birth. It really helps me to be visually prepared as far as setting and light. It also makes your birth experience more comfortable because we have already met, and I have more of a feel of your personalities and wishes.
Very rarely do I prefer black and white images over color, but both of their maternity and birth sessions converted so beautifully to black and white, and I adore them.
We also incorporated their Christmas tree into the session since it timed out perfectly with the holidays.
Nicole delivered 3 weeks early with their older daughter and had experienced quite a lot of preterm contractions with this pregnancy. She also had a history of fast delivery with her last baby, so we talked about this quite a bit. Because of her history, I started call for her birth at the 37-week mark, and we talked often to check in with each other so that I would be on high alert when the time came.
She had quite a few moments in the week leading up to the birth that she thought could really be it. She experienced quite a few sleepless nights and uncomfortable cramping, but they always spaced back out and became irregular. It was a bit tricky, but as always, when on call I checked in often and kept my phone right by my head at night. Finally, after her last office appointment, her cervical check did show some cervical change, and her baby was sitting so low, so we amped up our communications. She really wanted to be sure they stayed regular before calling everyone over, and as they became more and more uncomfortable, we finally decided to just be safe and have me head over. Luckily, I live just 20 min away from her.
When I arrived, the door was ajar for me, so I just knew I better book it up the stairs, and sure enough, by the time I got up there, Nicole was in the tub and quite calmly looked over at me and said, “I’m pushing”. The room was dark and calm; her husband, Anthony, was cool as a cucumber. I had beaten the midwife there. As I frantically ran around trying to add enough light to capture some images without being too disruptive and altering the room’s mood, she calmly delivered her baby girl into her arms. Neither one of them got worked up, and it happened so quickly! I could grab one image of her baby emerging and then just started shooting everything as it unfolded.
Her midwives arrived shortly after I did. I always love seeing the Serenity Birth Center birth team, they are such a capable group of midwives.
I was impressed by how well they handled the stress of such a precipitous delivery. They just did what they needed to do, and it unfolded beautifully.
Nicole had really hoped her dad would be in town when she delivered, and he was scheduled to fly out the night she went into labor. It timed out so perfectly. I just love capturing family members meeting their new baby, you could just see the pride all over his face.
Big sister slept through the whole birth, and mom and dad were pretty exhausted, so we decided I would come back the next day to capture more images of them together once everyone rested.
Their daughters are just under a year apart and big sister was so good with her! Documenting siblings meeting is one of my favorite things!
Oh, how I wish I could have captured more of their birth, but I am so happy for them that it was a quick one! And this just goes to show you that there is still so much story surrounding the actual moment of birth. I love the story and the love we were able to capture around it!
Saturday, March 28th, 2020
I have a whole list of reasons why I am passionate about documenting newborns and their families in their homes here in Las Vegas.
As much work as it is, I truly love blogging, especially if it can help someone else! Hopefully, this post will be helpful to anyone trying to decide whether an in-home newborn session is for them.
One of my favorite things about in-home newborn sessions is that they have so much more of a relaxed feel for me. I photographed newborns in my studio for six years and loved it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with posed newborn photography. The reason I moved away from my studio work into the homes of families and from posed to lifestyle is that I really developed a love for filmmaking and for really digging into the stories of each family. Birth stories have become my true passion. To be able to work cohesively with the families I serve, I really felt drawn away from the studio, and into the homes of families, where their memories are made and where they feel the most comfortable.
Not having to take your baby out of the house during those first weeks is a good reason to consider an in-home session! I know that there are still appointments and places you have to go in those weeks, but the safest place is almost always home. You can control who interacts with your baby and know exactly how clean the items are that you use.
This family is a good example of why I feel in-home newborn sessions are so wonderful. Although they had posed newborn images of their older two, they were really interested in capturing beautiful images without the worry and work of getting everyone out of the house and managing them in a strange environment.
In the weeks before their due date, we communicated often, and I checked in to see how things were going. Mom had delivered at different gestations with her previous two, so it was hard to know which way she would go. As luck would have it, she went over her due date! When their baby finally arrived, things got even crazier. Poor dad got sick. Thank goodness the time crunch is not as vital for in-home newborn sessions. For posed newborn sessions I really tried to get my clients in within the first 10-14 days while the baby was still sleepy and easily settled in those adorable posed images you see.In contrast, lifestyle newborn images
We were past the three-week mark when dad finally felt well enough for us to move forward with their session. Because time restrictions aren’t so stiff with in-home newborn sessions, we were able to be sure that dad could be present and feel well enough to participate.
Another thing I love about in-home newborn sessions is that siblings feel so much more at home, and are able to move in and out of the spaces we work in comfortably. Big brother and sister were able to go upstairs and play with their toys with their babysitter while I focused on mom and dad, helping everything to stay relaxed and everyone at ease, which shows in images!
Another thing I love about in-home newborn sessions is that we use the spaces that hold the most meaning to you. Your baby will grow in the spaces where all those memories unfold. I love that you and your children will look back on images we have captured together and have the sentimental feelings associated with them.
While mom was feeding baby brother, we could just play and relax and capture some images of dad with big brother and sister.
We then moved to little E’s room to capture some of the details there. This is another space I love to use during newborn sessions.
No matter where you document your newborn, whether by hiring a posed studio newborn photographer, or a lifestyle photographer in your own home, I encourage you to do so! The newborn stage of life is one of life’s most fleeting periods between sleepless nights, diaper changes, and feedings. It passes quickly, and they change even quicker!
Tuesday, March 24th, 2020
A Las Vegas Birth Story
I am so excited to share another beautiful birth story from 2019. This mama found me over the summer as she was looking for a birth photographer for her third baby. This is the second client this year that hired me for their third birth, even though they hadn’t professionally documented their previous two births. I think many families feel guilty about hiring a birth photographer for their birth if they hadn’t for previous children because it can feel a little unfair. I have a totally different perspective.
I think that it is after your first birth, and maybe even second, that you really realize that the fears of being documented begin to diminish amid the desire to have those memories to look back on. What I love about documenting births with other children is that I always involve them in the birth story somehow, whether that be during labor or when they meet for the first time. Your family and your connection are a vital part of your birth story. They are often my favorite images and footage. What I would give to have my birth stories documented with my own children!
There really is nothing like birth and the deep story woven throughout each one. It seems that there are moments that we so easily vividly recall about the births of our children, holding them for the first time, the smells, and emotions. We are often times so exhausted by the point of delivery, and in those first sleepless days, that some of those memories can also be a bit vaguer, especially with the passage of time.
You didn’t get to see your spouse’s face as they spoke to your baby in the warmer or the tender way your loved ones touched you and worried over you. My job is always to capture the most important moments to you, and we talk about this in the weeks leading up to your delivery.
We decided on meeting in their home for our client meeting before her birth so that I could see her birth space and talk comfortably there; it was a great opportunity to meet the whole family. She wanted the girls involved if they felt comfortable with it but had decided she would leave that up to them. I was so excited once I saw their gorgeous home, she has it so beautifully and thoughtfully decorated and had printed images throughout her home. It was quite evident that capturing memories and documenting her family was a priority. That always makes a photographer’s heart swell.
She had delivered at home with her previous two and at different gestational ages with them both, so it was hard to say when she would deliver. She ended up going over this one. As with all of my clients, we frequently communicated as she had a fast labor history. Finally, on an October evening, I got a text that she was contracting regularly but wasn’t ready for me to come quite yet. I made sure that her doula had my number as well so that I could respond quickly when she was ready. And shortly after that first conversation, I got a text that it was time to go ahead and come on over!
Luckily, she lives not too far from me, so I got there pretty quickly. When I arrived, I quietly entered her birth space to find that she was moving quickly and had the occasional urge to push. I was in awe of her beautifully decorated birth space (that she decorated while laboring!), it was so well thought out and so full of so many meaningful and sentimental items. Her doula and midwife both spoke words of encouragement over her and guided her through those urges. Her husband moved in and out of the room between the girls and his wife.
Jessica ended up delivering 20 minutes after I arrived! She went so fast; I was just so grateful that I made it!
It was such a beautiful delivery, and Jessica made it all look so graceful! Her girls made it into the room after their baby was born; they were so adorable!
Monday, February 3rd, 2020
A Henderson, NV Birth Story
I am so excited to finally share this beautiful birth story of John Tito, born at home. I adore this family. I met them in 2018 when I documented their first delivery at home. I was in awe of the love they had for each other and the strength of this incredibly powerful mama.
Jennifer delivered her first at home, in the water, and stayed strong through a long labor, delivering their baby girl into her husband’s arms. It was beautiful to witness. Both mom and dad are first responders in our community, with mom being a paramedic and Greg being a firefighter for the city of Henderson.
I was so excited when Jennifer contacted me to document this birth story! There is nothing better than documenting a family as they grow. I was so excited that big sister would be there and that she intended to deliver in the water again.
As with my birth clients, I checked in frequently with Jennifer to see how she was feeling and how things were going as her due date approached. She had gone a week over with her first but felt like she was going to deliver sooner with this one. She is an incredibly busy woman and was in her last semester earning an advanced degree while working, and taking care of a toddler, so as that due date approached, she was so tired and ready to hold her baby in her arms.
I am an early riser and don’t sleep well while on call for births. I woke up at 3 am one morning and checked my phone, as usual, to make sure I hadn’t missed anything just as she texted me to let me know she was having pretty strong contractions, but they weren’t staying too regular quite yet, and that she would keep me posted. Although I have my gear ready at all times while on call, I made sure it was at the door, and I was showered, just in case, because they live about 40 minutes from me.
She updated me again at midday to let me know she had gone to the midwife to be checked and was dilated, and her contractions were still strong but not regular yet. So, I continued to wait! Late afternoon I got the call that it was time. Dads often call me by this point when moms are in active labor, and Greg did call me to let me know they had called the midwife to come, so I headed out there. He felt like she was going fast at this point, so I didn’t waste any time heading out there.
Jennifer was pretty uncomfortable when I arrived and was just ready to move into the tub.
Little Angelina was so cute and well-behaved as Jennifer labored in the water surrounded by her midwives and husband, coming over every so often to give her mama a kiss or drink of water.
Jennifer’s labor was similar to her last at almost the same time of day, right down to the hour. Both times she trusted her body and, between gentle touch and reassurances from her midwives and husband, labored with such strength.
Finally, Jennifer felt the urge to push and work and once again delivered their baby boy into her husband’s arms. It was just beautiful.
I am continually in awe that I witness such strength and beauty in women. I have been a part of the birth industry for almost 20 years now, and the beauty of birth has never faded.
Monday, January 27th, 2020
A Year in Review
I’m so excited to announce my 2019 favorites as well as a brief recap review of the year.
One of my favorite ways to reflect on 2019 in review is to select favorites from each session, bringing them all together in a collection at the end of the year. It is a beautiful way to wrap up and a reminder of how blessed each year has been.
By reviewing the year and looking at each session with fresh eyes, always leaves me in a place of gratitude. This year… I am still sitting back in awe and feeling incredibly blessed and grateful as I reflect on all that has unfolded. It has been an incredible year! I am usually much more on it and have this post up by New Year’s Day, but honestly am just now catching my breath, having gone non-stop since March. It is a fantastic problem, and as I reflect, I am overwhelmed with emotion at times.
Since the fall of 2018, I have carefully planned a big switch in Little Loo Photography, rebranding from posed newborns and families to birth. I had invested time and finances in hiring an experienced and talented birth mentor Angie Klaus Photography. Angie was so helpful in looking at my brand in general and preparing me for the work it would take to branch into this genre. Birth is unlike anything else. I knew it would be a risk, as I had worked so hard in my first seven years in business building a brand I was known for (posed newborn), and to change that was a bit scary. I had hoped and prayed that it would unfold just as I envisioned and that the clients would come. I worked hard on learning and fine-tuning my filmmaking skills and invested in workshops and online communities to soak up as much information and resources as possible.
My life plan included me retiring as a labor and delivery nurse here in Las Vegas in January 2020, at my 20th anniversary. It was a career that held my identity and much of my heart and soul. Patient care and caring for families during life’s most intimate and life-changing moments were never lost on me. Even up until the end, I was in awe that this was my career, that I got to do this as a living. I had the perfect plan of how the two would unfold; me retiring from L&D as I launched my brand in birth stories. How perfect that I still get to be a part of the incredible miracle of birth, but in a new role?
I am very goal-oriented, and I have plans to follow for almost everything I do, from running marathons to traveling, you name it. But God always has a better plan, and I am always amazed at how much richer and deeper His always is. By March 2019, it was becoming clear that trying to grow my birth business would be difficult while working at the hospital. As changes occurred in the unit, I felt the whisper that it was a time (quite hard for this OCD person who likes to stick to the plan). Still, it just kept nudging and pulling at my heart, and after some deep conversations with my husband and reviewing finances, I made the leap and went out early. Walking off the unit I had walked into for 19 years after resigning was incredibly emotional. I worked alongside the best of the best and was blessed enough to work with incredible nurses, doctors, and staff. I met and cared for so many families over the years.
I spent time hoping and praying that the birth clients would come and I would be able to grow it. And, boy oh boy, grow it did! I honestly struggled to keep up. I got inquiry after inquiry and had the most incredible clients find me, clients willing to open and share their birth spaces with me, trusting me to tell such an intimate and personal part of their lives, their birth story. Trusting me in capturing moments that can’t be relived or redone, it has been the most incredible year in Little Loo’s history. Mind-blowing really!
But let’s get to the favorites part of it- my yearly favorites! I pick an image from each session that speaks the most to my heart. I usually put them together in a slideshow, but I am changing it up this year! (I do have clients that request that I not post their images on my blog or social media sites, and I always honor that, so they are not included in the numbers or favorites). Enjoy!
I had made a goal for 2019 to shoot ten births (double the births I documented in 2018), and I ended up documenting
16 births!
Each birth was so different and so full of emotion and love!
Documenting a surrogate birth story has long been a dream of mine, so I was over the moon when this story found me. It was incredibly touching and even more beautiful than I could have imagined.
I have learned in being a birth photographer that it is unlike any other genre. Being on call for births for an average of 3 weeks at a time means that other types of work can’t be scheduled around it for the risk of rescheduling clients, which isn’t ideal.
In no other genre do you have no idea when it will happen; it could be 2 am, two weeks from today, or tomorrow, and having everything ready to go instantly is crucial. So, as hard as it was, that meant less work I had done in the past and fewer family, newborn, and maternity sessions. It was so hard to say ‘no’ to so many families.
To end 2019, I was allowed to be among the incredibly talented and diverse Birthbound Photographer instructors. I will be presenting a portion of their birth photographer certification course, bringing my experience as an L&D nurse to forge stronger relationships in the hospital setting and elevate the genre of birth photography as a whole. It has been an incredible opportunity and one I am so grateful for!
I documented 5 maternity sessions. Three of my maternity clients were also birth story clients.
I do offer an incentive of discounted maternity, Fresh 48, and newborn sessions for all of my birth clients, as I am so passionate about the story behind each birth, and adding maternity, Fresh 48, or newborn sessions does bring those full stories circle.
In the year ahead, my birth clients will have priority in scheduling these sessions, another decision that has been hard to make, but I want to be sure that I am fully present for each session that I book and available for when births do happen.
I documented 14 newborns in 2019!
Moving away from the posed studio into clients’ homes, I knew I would not be for everyone. I am so grateful for the past clients that stuck with me during this transition and for clients that booked me as a lifestyle in-home newborn!
Five of my newborns were also birth story clients. It was such a beautiful way to honestly tell their story, having followed them through the birth of their baby to a home where so many beautiful memories will be made. Moving forward for newborn sessions, my birth clients will have priority in filling my newborn spaces on the calendar, once again, to ensure that I have availability for them and provide my clients with the best experience possible!
On this year’s blessings side of this year- I had worked hard to keep my nursing and photography careers separate over the years and never talked about my business with patients. I never wanted there to be a conflict of interest or make my patients or staff I worked alongside uncomfortable. Most of the OB/GYNs I worked with had no idea I was a photographer. Right before I retired from the hospital, I was offered the opportunity to bid alongside other talented photographers in hanging my art on the halls that lined the remodel of the new Birth Place hallways. I won the bid and could hang 70 pieces of large prints of my work along the hallways I had worked on for 19 years. It indeed was a dream come true.
The most incredible part of this story is that the last patient I delivered found me this way. Not knowing she was finding me, we were both blown away when we put it together! I documented a part of their NICU journey, and they’re bringing her home! I told you this year was incredible!
I documented 11 Fresh 48 sessions! As a new offering for Little Loo Photography, I am pretty excited about that and hope to add more of these in 2020. They have my heart, everything is still so fresh and new, and it is a beautiful option for families who aren’t able to invest in a birth story.
I was blessed enough to document 19 families this year!
As I said, it was harder to schedule these alongside my birth clients, and as much as I love them, I will have to continue to limit these in 2020, as there is not enough space on the calendar. Be sure to book yours well in advance for this year!
I launched my first ‘The Story ‘ giveaway in 2018 and had the opportunity to document the story of Dan Brite and his road to recovery in 2019. It is a beautiful story of family strength and determination. My life will be forever changed by having the opportunity to tell this story.
To continue sharing my year of incredible blessings, I was offered the opportunity by Focus on the Family to document a beautiful family sharing their story on the redemption and restoration of their marriage in the upcoming Spring issue of their magazine. This ministry has deeply impacted my life, and the opportunity to work on a project with them that is so impactful and intimate was a dream come true!
And lastly, I had a few sessions out of my usual work, but for friends and family that had booked me in advance!
If you made it all the way through, thank you so much! Thank you for following me, trusting me with your stories, and believing in me! I told you it was an incredibly blessed year; it will certainly be hard to follow!
In 2020 I will focus even more on birth and growing in this genre and on giving back to my community, which has given me so much. I am excited about what lies ahead!
Monday, January 20th, 2020
Las Vegas Family Photographer
This family- I just simply adore them! I have had the pleasure of seeing them grow as a family from the time Nicole was pregnant with their oldest. They are a family that I hope never moves away and that I hope to document for many years to come. They are always so laid back and fun and truly love just loving on each other.
Each year we try and document them in a new location, and Nicole puts so much thought and planning in outfit choices and in communicating their wishes with me. I love that each year has been so different, but still that same thread of love and connection throughout. I love that this year they chose a mountain location for their family session.
Each of their two children has the most adorable personality, and seeing those grow has been so much fun. Van seriously has the best smile ever and has since he was a newborn. His smile makes you smile, and his personality is just so fun and outgoing.
Wren is silly but reserved. She loves her mama and does not get too far from her. She makes me work a little harder for those precious little smiles, but that was definitely easier this year as she has gotten bigger, and some of that stranger danger has melted away.
This has been such a big year for them, with Shawn retiring from military service after 20 years and joining the workforce as a civilian. They have big things coming their way; stay tuned until the end to see more of the excitement in store for them in 2020.
The day before their session, Nicole texted me to discuss our session and meeting spot and snuck in a little secret. I just about died. They had planned on being done with children, but life had other plans. I am so excited for them and what lies in store for 2020, I will be documenting that! This will be the second birth I have shot for them, and I seriously can’t even wait.
So stay tuned for more from this family in 2020.
Thursday, January 2nd, 2020
The Dan Brite Story
The story of Dan Brite and his family is one that touched me right to the core the first time I heard it, and even deeper still in the telling of it.
I have always been drawn to the story because I truly believe everyone has one, and it is in the telling of stories that we often times find hope, for healing, and inspiration.
As 2018 ended, I decided to launch my first The Story Giveaway for 2019, to spend time telling the story of one family, individual, or organization. I was pretty overwhelmed by the response I received and deeply touched by the stories that poured in. The task of choosing just one was so difficult, I would have loved to tell them all.
Dan and Christine were nominated by their friend Anitra, who has followed my work and has always been so kind and a huge supporter of me and my business.
As I continued to narrow down my selections after reading through every story multiple times and spending time in prayer, I just kept coming back to their story. The telling of it would mean traveling to Denver, but felt that it was a story worth traveling for!
Dan and Christine are both police officers with Douglas County in Denver, CO. At the time of their story, Dan served as a SWAT team leader and plain clothes detective, Christine as Detective Sergeant over the Special Victim’s Unit, and as a trained negotiator. Both were in roles they had worked hard to achieve, and both had long careers within law enforcement.
On September 02, 2016, Detective Dan Brite responded to a call involving a heavily armed man threatening police and others in an area near a hospital, assisted living facility, and elementary school. As the suspect eluded police and then returned to his home, where he had additional weapons stored, it became vital to stop him from entering his residence. As Dan led the team to intercept the suspect, he was shot in the line of duty. As the call unfolded, Christine was en route to the scene as a negotiator. It was while listening to radio transmissions that she learned that it was Dan that had been shot.
Their lives were forever changed in a moment. Detective Brite was transported quickly to the hospital by his team (which was vital in his survival). He had no pulse upon arrival at the hospital and twice endured full cardiac resuscitation. The second required his chest opening for manual cardiac massage as a last life-saving effort.
In the meantime, the suspect continued to elude police and arrived at the exterior of the same hospital where Dan was, and opened fire, it was here that he was eventually shot and killed by a fellow officer.
It wasn’t until hours after Dan arrived at the hospital that Christine could finally see him. Dan remained in critical condition. Both Christine and his daughter Ashley stood by his bedside throughout the night, and they both describe it as the longest night of their lives.
Dan remained unconscious for 11 days. It was in the uncertainty of what their life would look like and what type of long-term damage Dan would suffer those close friends, pastor, family, and law enforcement community surrounded them, held them, and prayed for them.
Christine describes sitting in a small room with two close friends and a pastor from work; as they talked and began praying, Christine felt a sense of relief, one that overcame her entire body. It was at this point that she placed the worry in God’s hands. She believed He wanted her to know that He was in control and would take care of Dan.
When Dan finally woke up, they discovered that through the aggressive life-saving interventions, he had suffered damage leaving him paralyzed from the mid-torso down. It was a devastating blow for them all.
After 5 weeks in the ICU unit, Dan was finally released to a rehabilitation hospital where he would spend the next two and a half months of his recovery learning how to live life in a wheelchair. It was just the beginning of a dark and difficult journey as he learned he had to depend on others.
Dan shared with me that as a man, father, and police officer, this was incredibly difficult. Dan describes the loss of his identity as one of the most difficult aspects of his recovery and one of the hardest to overcome. The realities of what he had lost and learning to accept life in a wheelchair were incredibly difficult for him. He struggled to find ways to deal with the loss. He became more depressed, angry, and irritated to the point of suicidal thoughts.
Dan and Christine have two beautiful daughters, and their journey was difficult not only for Dan but also for Christine and their daughters as they all struggled to navigate what their new life would be like. Their oldest daughter Ashley had just graduated high school, and their youngest, Addison, was just nine years old. Christine attempted to maintain a somewhat normal life for their daughters while being the emotional and physical support that not only Dan but their two daughters needed.
Christine says that when Dan came home in December 2016, everyone thought he was “better.” Little did people know they were struggling with the mental side of healing. Dan was extremely depressed. He slept 15+ hours a day, refused to get out of bed, hardly ate, and hated his life. She struggled with helping him and began experiencing caretaker fatigue. He was always upset, yelled a lot, and was never happy. It took a long time to adjust to the new style of living. They had to move from their home to a more wheelchair accessible one. She had to drive him to every appointment (there were LOTS!), and take kids to school, all while maintaining the household inside and out.
Through seeing a therapist, life became more manageable. The therapist zoned in on their trauma and provided them with tools and techniques to live the life they deserve. They still struggle with a lack of adaptable places, a lack of wheelchair-accessible parking spots, and cracks in sidewalks. They have learned to look for elevators and ramps. Dan still has lots of physical pain, complications (gallbladder removed, blood clots), and various medical issues that people aren’t always aware of.
At Christine’s prompting, Dan began to attend church with her. During his first few visits, while listening to a sermon called Shipwrecked, Dan began to see the hope in his struggles. It became a turning point in his emotional recovery. It was in these days that he began to cling to that hope with white-knuckle strength. It was here that he began to see his purpose and his new identity. Dan has now become a huge advocate for mental health in the first responder community and a strong voice for suicide prevention among first responders.
Dan also describes the importance of community support in his recovery. Not only did friends, family, and community come alongside them in those first days and weeks, but three years later, they continued to stand with them and show up time and time again.
Dan describes his community as his safety net during these times and says their support and encouragement kept him from falling into a deeper depression.
Because of the impact of community and support on Dan and his recovery, his mission encouraged others to lean on that support, seek help when needed, and provide resources for first responders dealing with the mental struggles that they see and deal with daily. In this, he has found his new identity and continues to be a part of law enforcement now as Deputy in the role of Wellness Coordinator. He now spends time talking to first responders and encourages them to talk about their struggles.
They have learned that they can do things they used to, which may look a little different, but the wheelchair has not stopped them from doing the things they love together as a family. They travel, fish, camp, and have found new hope because of the change in priorities that Dan’s injuries have brought.
What I was struck most by when I spent with them in their home while documenting their story was their willingness to be vulnerable. Their willing to share not only the victories but the struggles they overcame and still face individually and together as a family.
Their daughters Ashley and Addison both talked openly about their struggles, from the fear of losing their dad, to the pain of seeing him suffer. They also shared the same gratitude in what coming through the other side of the darkest days has done for their relationship with each other, their dad, and Christine. They have all learned to communicate and express their love for each other out loud by being there for each other.
The overwhelming message from them is that there is hope. There is hope through the struggles and darkest days, and they have made it their mission to share that hope with others.
Dan and Christine have created a foundation, the Dan Brite Scholorship, to give back to the community that has held them so well. Their foundation selects recipients for college/trade school scholarships.
Monday, December 2nd, 2019
This is another beautiful Las Vegas birth story that I have been dying to share. It is incredibly emotional and moving. It holds a special place in my heart because I know this beautiful little family. When they asked me to document their birth, I was just so ecstatic. I am always dying a little on the inside when people I know and love are pregnant, hoping that they will invite me into their birth space. I also understand it is a big investment and such an intimate time in life, so I don’t take it personally when I am not.
I knew Hannah and Christian’s birth story would be emotional and so full of love because of who they are and the special relationship they have.
I worked labor and delivery with Hannah at Summerlin Hospital here in Las Vegas (she is such a compassionate and intelligent nurse), and I have had the pleasure of seeing their love grow and evolve over the past few years. I also had the pleasure of documenting their engagement session so to have the opportunity to document another momentous moment in their life was so exciting! I truly believe there is no more momentous and emotional time in our lives than the birth of our children!
Hannah and Christian are the sort of couple that draws you in. They are so deeply in love, and both so full of light, you can’t help but just smile on the inside when around them.
Once again, narrowing down images in sharing their birth story was incredibly hard; there are just so many beautiful ones!
I love when families choose both film and still images of their birth. I think that the two together tell so much more than just still images can, and each has unique details and emotions.
We talked off and on as their due date approached and as we got into September decided to set a date to meet and talk about the details that were most important to them in documenting their birth, the moments that they wanted me to focus on, and their birth plans. This helps me so much in making sure I honor your birth space and wishes.
Just days before our scheduled coffee date I received a message from Hannah that her water had broken and that she would be going in to be triaged. She was five weeks early, so there was some fear mixed in with all the anticipation.
Once they were admitted, settled in, and got some rest I headed in to capture some of the earlier details of their birth story before active labor really kicked in. We hadn’t really had a chance to talk about all those details and wishes and didn’t want to arrive when she was super uncomfortable and have her make those decisions.
I feel like we captured so much of their story because I moved in and out of the room a few times throughout their labor. Hannah and Christian had decided to keep their room quiet and free of guests (which is a pretty tough task when you know all the staff on the floor you deliver). I was really impressed by their decision, and you could just feel the healthy space that they built around themselves. I did my best to move in and out of the room at different stages of labor as unobtrusively as possible to capture details and then give them space.
They had just learned some of the Spinning Babies techniques, so got to work alternating through some of the techniques.
Things moved slowly for the first day, and although Hannah’s contractions were regular and had become more intense, there was no cervical change happening. Despite this, they both stayed positive and determined to give her body time, trying to take advantage of periods of rest while they could.
She was so great at changing positions frequently, and Christian was by her side at all times, supporting and encouraging her.
That evening her OB came in to evaluate Hannah and their baby, and together they made some changes to their plan of care and continued to labor. I stepped out of the room again to give them space and time for rest. They were becoming weary and needed that time alone. If the weather is good, I will often times sleep in my car, and that is exactly what I did while giving them the space they needed. In the early morning hours, I got a message from Hannah that things were really beginning to change, and she had become much more uncomfortable; they were ready for me to come back up.
Hannah had really hoped that her dear friend Lois would deliver her, and Lois was kind enough to come in both days while Hannah was laboring to care for her. When she arrived on shift that morning, things were progressing and changing quickly.
Her OB was called for delivery, and Hannah breathed through her contractions and the urge to push with the support of Christian and her nurse.
Luckily her doctor arrived quickly since her office was next door, and they prepared for delivery.
I mean, look at them. Their delivery was so emotionally charged and beautiful.
Because he was five weeks early, the incredible NICU team at Summerlin hospital attended her delivery. After some time on mom’s chest, he was taken to the radiant warmer for further assessment and oxygen supplementation.
Caden needed oxygen to maintain his color and oxygen saturation, so the decision to take him to the nursery for further evaluation was made. I could see the emotions and disappointment on both of their faces, but they both understood and knew there was a good chance because of his prematurity, this might be the case. Caden was bundled back up and taken back to Hannah’s arms before being transported to the nursery.
When I document your birth, I plan on staying 1-2 hours after delivery to capture those first moments bonding with your baby. Some of these moments might include skin-to-skin, breastfeeding, measurements, newborn assessments, and just those precious first hours of meeting your new baby face-to-face. Once again, we talk to come up with a plan for the moments that are most important to you!
When babies are transferred to the newborn nursery or NICU unit, there are restrictions on filming and photographing inside those spaces for many important reasons. Completing your birth story is important to me, so in these instances, there are a few options to continue in telling your story; I can come back to your birth space if the baby is transferred back in, your postpartum room, or wherever you are when your baby is released. Because the restrictions in the NICU included only two people being present at Caden’s bedside, and they didn’t want to be split up (understandably) for the next series of images and footage, we decided to wait until he was released from the NICU and back home safe and sound.
Caden spent eight days in NICU before coming home.
Little Caden was still so tiny but thriving and healthy. It was such a beautiful and tender moment to capture them at home with little Caden safe and sound in their arms. I am pretty sure my heart melted right out of my body by the end of their session. It was the perfect way to end their birth story; it all felt complete.
Look how tiny he was! You all know I have a thing for dad’s hands and their babies!
Christian is an incredibly talented artist and performer. I love that they wanted to incorporate that into their session because it is a part of their lives. He had spent plenty of time singing to little Caden while on the inside, so of course, had to capture some of that at home!
Monday, November 18th, 2019
