A Family Centered Birth Story
I am so excited to finally share the birth of Javier Cesar, a beautiful family-centered birth story.
I have been anxiously awaiting a break in work to catch up on my blog. Unfortunately, I am months and months behind; this birth took place last April (2021)!
I love blogging these stories because seeing them as a whole shows how much storytelling there is in birth. The beautiful story that is birth begins months before you even meet. It starts in the planning, dreaming, hoping, praying, and in all the anticipation before your baby’s arrival even begins. Birth is the beautiful climax of your baby’s story. I believe there is no more life-altering and life-changing moment in our lives. So to witness it and capture it for families is such a blessing, and a responsibility I don’t take lightly!
Michelle found me in her second trimester as she searched for a birth photographer in her area. She reached out, and we talked about her hopes and wishes in documenting her birth. She and her family lived in St. George, UT, a town located an hour and a half north of me. Their birth would be the furthest I had ever traveled for a birth story. As we talked through her plans and wishes, we immediately connected and decided to move forward with lots of communication to make sure I had as much window as possible to make the drive and arrive in time. This was also their fourth baby, which added another layer of worry as she had gone pretty quickly with her last delivery.
Michelle is a truly special woman! I immediately admired her passion and drive, and her beautiful heart. She is also a talented birth photographer located in North Port, FL, an Ayurveda herbal specialist, military veteran, has even become a doula since her last birth!
This was their first homebirth and first son, so it of course was going to be a little bit extra special. I love that Michelle researched and educated herself, building her dream birth team.
Be sure to follow through to the end to see their beautiful birth story film, oh, and grab a box of tissues!
Michelle called me in the early morning hours on April 27th, letting me know her contractions were becoming regular and she believed it was time. I quickly packed up my car and got on the road. It was a beautiful rainy morning which made the drive through our desert so gorgeous. I arrived at their home just as the sun was rising. Everyone was up and Michelle had her close friend and neighbor as well as her doula, Trish Baird there.
Soon her midwife, Janae Sherman arrived with the rest of her birth team. Michelle had created a beautiful space and atmosphere to labor in and was held and supported by her family and birth team.
By midday, her contractions were becoming more intense and Michelle began to pull inwards and focus through each wave. At this point, she decided she was ready to get in the water.
One of my favorite parts of witnessing home births is the family-centered care that comes so naturally in homes while allowing the space to move freely, not only for mama but also for children and support persons. It takes so much fear out of laboring. Their oldest daughter stuck by her mama’s side throughout the whole day, diligently timing each contraction, it was the sweetest.
This labor was longer than her last and caused Michelle to have some doubts about her ability. This is so common, especially in the transition phase of labor. She has done some incredibly hardcore things in her life from being a Marine, running the Grand Canyon rim to rim, and competing in body-building competitions, she has definitely done some hard things. She leaned into her team and into her strength and although this period was intense, it quickly got her to the pushing phase of labor. She planned on delivering in her tub but settled on her most comfortable spot along the tub. I love that she didn’t force it and trusted her body and position.
As Michelle got cleaned up and led to the bedroom, dad held his sweet new son and sisters gathered around. This is definitely one of my favorite births for so many reasons, one of them being the intense way this family loves each other.
This was their biggest baby which explained his slower descent, at 8 lbs 7 ounces.
This family booked me for ‘The Whole Story’, my birth package that includes maternity, birth, Fresh, and newborn sessions. I love being able to come back in the weeks after and document their continued story. It is such a beautiful way to complete their birth story, and always a little bittersweet.
Thursday, March 17th, 2022
A Las Vegas Birth Story
This beautiful birth story took place in this family’s home, born into the arms of those that love her the most.
When I began my photography business in Las Vegas in 2011 (I just celebrated ten years!), it felt impossible to build a solid clientele while creating a brand in which I could stand out in such a competitive field. I began my business working with newborns and their families, a specialty that evolved organically from working with families for many years as a labor and delivery nurse. What drew me into newborn photography was the same core desire that drove me into nursing and finally into birth photography during what I believe is life’s most intimate and life-changing time. I’ve worked with families bringing new life into this world for over 21 years now in one capacity or another. There are still so many times that I find myself in tears and so grateful that this is what I get to do. Its blessings are never lost on me.
What is better than all of that? When families come back to me year after year and baby after baby, and I see them grow as a family, that is seriously the best and reminds me that my years of hard work and dedication have paid off!
It is always a privilege to document birth stories and be trusted in my client’s birth space with once-in-a-lifetime moments, moments that cannot be redone. That privilege is a heavy weight to bear, one that I don’t take lightly. But, to be trusted with a family’s birth story more than once is heaven!
They had delivered their first two in the hospital. Although their hospital experiences were good, they wanted to be home surrounded by family with their daughter nearby, which wasn’t possible during the pandemic restrictions within hospitals. She sought dual-track care and committed to delivering at home only if things were going well, and she was a good candidate for a homebirth. After interviewing multiple midwives, they connected with Marvelys Lopez and Kim Trower of Sweet Beginnings Midwifery here in Las Vegas.
In early January, mom went into labor alone in the middle of the night. I got the call that the contractions that had been coming off and on for weeks without any regularity had finally changed and had become regular in pattern and were increasingly uncomfortable. So I gathered my things and quickly headed out the door.
This is the second birth I’ve attended with this birth team, and this special touch of braiding her patient’s hair while laboring touched my heart both times. It was a beautiful mix of physical touch and thoughtfulness that helped both moms feel more confident and ready to meet their babies.
Although this was their third baby, this one was not their fastest labor; getting this sweet baby to rotate required a lot of position changes and movement, and both mom and her midwives were so patient and dedicated.
When the baby finally decided to come, she came fast! This mama barely made it out of the bathroom and almost to the bed, and she was here!
The timing could not have been more perfect because by now, it was morning, and big sister was waking up. She was a bit unsure at first about this new baby in their home but quickly warmed up, and we captured the most adorable moments, be sure to watch their video!
And finally, their beautiful birth story is told so well in film.
Monday, September 6th, 2021
A Summerlin Hospital Birth Story
The birth of Rubie Karen is a birth story I am so excited to share. After struggling through years of infertility, this family welcomed their sweet baby into their arms at Summerlin Hospital here in Las Vegas.
This beautiful mama sought me out as soon as she reached her second trimester and was able to take a breath after months of infertility treatments. After so many months and years of hoping and praying for a baby, they finally could plan and dream of that day of holding their baby in their arms. After so much planning and anticipation, she knew she wanted it documented. I love when parents see the value in documenting their birth, particularly with their first. I often have parents decide on birth photography and birth story films after they regretted not doing it with their first. I really get those trepidations and fears in allowing someone into such a private time in your life; nothing is more vulnerable and intimate than birth!
We talked off and on in the months and weeks leading up to their due date, and finally, in their last trimester, we set up our face-to-face meeting. I offer this at any point during your pregnancy, but often waiting until closer to your due date gives time for more questions to come up, and parents have a better idea of what their birth plans will look like. Ashlie had planned a homebirth with one of our beautiful local midwives Sherry Hopkins of Well Rounded Mama, so we planned to meet in her home to talk about the areas she planned on using, her birth plan and hopes and expectations. I loved meeting her in person; her home was beautifully decorated. You could feel her excitement above everything, and as we talked through scenarios, I discussed options if she were to be transferred to the hospital during her care as COVID precautions here in Las Vegas were still in place, with most places allowing only one support person and just a small number of hospitals allowing doula support outside the one support persons. At the time, I was actively working on my doula certificate, and having solid connections at Summerlin (I retired after 19 years as a labor nurse there in 2019) would be the only place that her backup doctor went that I would be allowed into. Of course, this scenario would not be ideal, but I like to discuss scenarios to help prepare clients in case things change.
Wouldn’t you know it, less than a week later, I got a call from her midwife and Ashlie informing me that her water had broken prematurely at 35 weeks, and she was headed to Summerlin Hospital because of her preterm gestation. She had chosen to go to Summerlin Hospital to give birth because documenting her birth was so important to her, and luckily my being present as her doulaTog (yes, that is a real thing) was approved. Because she was early, it would be a long process, and so we talked on the phone, and the decision was to call me when things started progressing, and I would head up.
Just after midnight, I heard that things were moving and changing and had begun to do so quickly. She had gotten an epidural and was ready for me to come. When I arrived, she was resting quietly with dimmed lights and her husband Greg at her side. They were exhausted from their long day of excitement, rapid changes, and discomfort before the epidural. Ashlie told me that she had almost wavered on calling me because she was so uncomfortable and wasn’t sure there would be much to capture now that she had the epidural. I have had more than one client share these feelings with me, and let me tell you, there is always SO much story to each birth, no matter how quick, long, medicated, unmedicated, surgical, or any of a million ways it can go. I promise you that!
Another pearl I’ve learned while working with birthing families is that reading the room is vital. Not every moment is meant to be documented, and often stepping back and allowing that space for rest and quiet is so important. Because of COVID, I couldn’t come in and out of the room as I tend to do to give that physical space, so I tucked myself in a corner and patiently waited until they were ready. After some rest, Ashlie’s body began to experience labor signs, even with the epidural. She began to feel nauseous and discomforted, so the nurse was called.
Things were moving pretty quickly by this point, with cervical change happening. The nurse called the on-call physical when Ashlie was complete, and pushing was initiated.
Ashlie pushed so well with the support of her husband but had some pushing to do before her doctor arrived, so she got to work trusting the process and her body.
Because her baby was early, she was quickly taken to the radiant warmer for assessment. Mama had worked so hard to bring her baby earthside finally, and there was so much emotion in the room waiting to hear everything was alright.
This is a period of time I try to capture as much as I can because moms often are busy with repairs and assessments and would otherwise have missed these precious moments between dads and their babies.
Finally, Ashlie could hold her baby in her arms, skin-to-skin. You could feel that release and love.
Because she was early, she needed to be transferred to the newborn nursery for further observation. It was an emotional goodbye for Mama and the baby.
Greg was able to stay with Rubie in her transfer to the nursery, and so after hanging back a bit with Mama, it was time for me to go since I wasn’t allowed in the nursery. We stayed in touch over the next few days and with their transfer to the NICU unit. Because our time was cut short with the nursery transfer (I typically stay 1-2 hours after birth to capture those first moments of skin-to-skin and breastfeeding), I told her that we would bump that time back to whenever we could, even if that were after they got home. Their time in the NICU ended much longer than anticipated, so I was happy I had offered this.
So, once they were home and settled, we planned a date for me to come to their home and capture more details of their sweet baby girl and them together as a family.
I love that each item they incorporated into their session held sentimental meaning, from homemade quilts to items from her namesake.
And of course, their beautiful birth story film. The most beautiful way to tell birth stories well.
Thank you so much, Cowper family, for trusting me with such a life-changing moment from your family and for sharing your beautiful birth story with me.
Saturday, August 7th, 2021
A Summerlin Hospital Birth Story
This beautiful pandemic birth story took place at Summerlin Hospital.
One of my 2020 highlights while in the COVID-19 pandemic was documenting this beautiful family’s second birth story.
To say that the restrictions accompanying the COVID-19 pandemic have affected my ability to document life’s most important moments for families is a major understatement.
Having documented this family’s first birth, the idea of missing the opportunity with their second was stressful for all of us, and we waited on pins and needles in the weeks and months leading up to their due date, completely unsure of how things would look and whether it would even be an option. Luckily, by the time their due date came along, our cases and hospital capacity here in Nevada were looking much better and because I was certifying as a doula, I had the privilege of being able to attend while doula privileges were allowed. I will forever be grateful for that opportunity.
Be sure to read end to end to see their beautiful birth story in video!
Hannah and Christian are one of my favorite couples. They have a unique bond and a relationship that draws you in and makes you want to be in their presence. They naturally love each other and wear their emotions beautifully on the outside. They are also reserved and very private in many senses; being in their birth space both times felt almost reverent. Hannah was strong enough to set healthy boundaries and expectations around both birth experiences and voice her wishes; in both of their births, I worked my hardest to honor that space.
So many elements of Hannah’s labor were so similar to her first, from the time of day she labored to the way her labor progressed. She was fortunate enough to have the same room as her first delivery and her dear friend and fellow nurse as her labor nurse.
With both labors, they used many of the methods they had learned from the Spinning Babies techniques, and Christian was right in tune with knowing which one to help her with as she labored.
Their sweet girl did not want to rotate and come down, which prolonged her labor, even with all her dedication to position changes. Finally, she came down, and it was time!
Just like their previous birth, once she decided to come, it unraveled quickly, and they weren’t sure her doctor would make it in time, but also, just like last time, she did! And just like that- their sweet baby girl was here!
After cutting the cord and skin-to-skin, their sweet baby girl went to the radiant warmer for assessment and her newborn exam.
Quickly she was right back in her mama’s arms for more skin-to-skin and initial breastfeeding. Because their last delivery was preterm and their son transferred to the NICU, this period was both special and incredibly emotional for them.
And finally, their beautiful birth story film!
Tuesday, March 16th, 2021
A Las Vegas Birth Story
I have had the pleasure of documenting a few home births here in Las Vegas during 2020, and with each one I document, I see more and more of their beauty and value. As I have tried to navigate this season of COVID, being able to attend home births has been such a blessing. With restrictions in the hospital setting, it just hasn’t been possible for so many families to have me present, and my heart breaks for them. Not being able to capture their birth stories has been devastating.
This beautiful family booked me for their birth months before the pandemic hit and had always planned on a home birth. This was their second birth at home with Marvelys Lopez of Sweet Beginnings Midwifery.
Be sure to follow through to the end to see this family’s beautiful birth film. It is so full of love and sweet and tender squeals of excitement and love from big sister.
I had the opportunity to interact with this family in the months and weeks leading up to their birth through our face-to-face meeting and documenting their maternity session. I love that by the time I am there to document births; it is much more comfortable having had conversations and seen each other.
Ana contacted me on a Sunday morning to let me know that her contractions had awoken her in the early morning hours and that they had continued to stay regular after getting up and moving around. She wasn’t ready for me yet but would let me know when she felt they were close enough and strong enough to call me over. By late afternoon she was ready for me to come on over! Her doula was present, and the atmosphere in their birth space was one of joy and peace.
Ana was great at changing positions often and kept moving even when uncomfortable. Her doula support, paired with her family’s physical and emotional support, was beautiful to witness.
After alternating positions between the tub, standing, the stairs, and side-lying in a nice quiet room, things quickly progressed as Ana moved into the transition phase of labor. Her midwife was called, and additional family support arrived. My favorite parts of documenting birth are the beauty and connections between family. This sweet big sister was so supportive and present for her mama.
This was the first birth I attended with midwives Marvelys Lopez and Kim Trower of Sweet Beginnings Midwifery Care. I was so impressed with their professionalism, capable care, and compassionate and intimate touch they provided.
And then she did it! Her beautiful baby girl was here, in her arms, surrounded by those that love her the most!
Big sister’s reactions could not have been sweeter. She was completely smitten by her new baby sister and just stared and gushed over her. It was the cutest! I am so glad I captured her reactions on video because it is just priceless.
Thursday, January 21st, 2021
My Annual Session Favorites
I can’t believe we are finally here, at the end of 2020. This has most definitely, for sure, absolutely, been the strangest year of my lifetime.
Looking back, I would not have believed it if someone had told me that this is how our year would have unfolded, and in many respects, I am glad that I didn’t. The only way I made it through with any sort of sanity was by realizing that I had zero control over this past year’s circumstances. My best plan of action was to love people and do my best by being flexible. As someone who has struggled with control, this has been a trial. The whole year felt like a trial of waiting and unknowns.
Now, I am only left with feelings of gratitude. Gratitude that I was able to keep on working for the most part. Although I missed out on many births because of the hospital restrictions and financial burdens the pandemic has placed on families, I have also had more opportunities to give back to my community. I accommodated high school seniors who had their year hijacked and photographed those sweet babies and their families when it was safe to do so, as well as more space for families this past fall.
One of my favorite ways of putting things in perspective is by going back through my year in images both professionally and personally. Each year I pick one favorite image from each session (it is pretty hard, trust me) and put them together in a collection. It’s so funny because often my favorites change throughout the year.
So, without further ado, here are my 2020 client favorites. There are a small number of clients who preferred their images not to be posted online, and I always honor that!
Be sure to stay up to date on my plans for 2021, I will be sharing them at the end of this post. There will be some changes, and I am excited about it all!
In 2020, I was able to document 6 births.
That is less than half the number of births I was able to document in 2019. This was by far, the biggest challenge in my business and the most difficult obstacle to overcome. As a photographer specializing in birth, this was incredibly tough to navigate. The most difficult and heart-wrenching part was really for my clients. Most of the year was spent hoping and praying that things would look better and restrictions would lift. I was able to document a small percentage of my hospital clients during the downward trends in the dual photographer/doula role, as I am currently working on my doula certification.
I am a birth photographer because I believe that documenting your birth is so important on many levels. It is a moment in time that cannot be redone. It is the reason I have been in the birth industry for over 20 years (19 of them as an L&D nurse). It is, in my opinion, the most life-changing and emotional time of our lives. You are able to finally see your baby for the first time, hear those first cries, and experience those tender and powerful moments of birth, they are all so important. I also happen to believe that documenting your birth can be emotionally healing and help in the processing of your birth whether it is a traumatic or easy one.
I will be a part of the birth industry as long as that passion continues, and I can’t see it ever fading. As I mentioned above, I am currently working on certification as a doula as another option for my birth clients. I will take a select few clients in this role in the upcoming year.
I captured two Fresh 48 sessions
8 Maternity Sessions
19 Newborn Sessions
Many of my newborn sessions were birth clients that we ended up having to roll into newborn sessions because I was unable to attend their births. I still captured so much sweetness!
I photographed 13 families
6 first year milestone sessions.
These sessions are reserved only for my birth and newborn clients within the first year of life. I just love watching babies grow and change that first year and love seeing how much the family as a whole evolves and changes and settles into their own unique family personality!
5 high school senior sessions.
I don’t photograph high school senior sessions too often anymore, although I do love them. Specializing in birth leaves little room for scheduling other types of sessions. It was fun to shoot a few more this year, and was a fun way of giving back to seniors!
I documented 6 passion projects.
These types of sessions are a way of me giving back to the community and telling the stories of individuals, families, and causes. I typically shoot two of these a year, this year I added just a few more.
2 head shot sessions
2 creative sessions
And, lastly, 1 branding session
If you’ve stayed with me this long, thank you so much! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for trusting me with your memories, being flexible, and for supporting my small business. I am still here because of you!
Moving forward in 2021
For 2021 I am back to my birth clients holding the large majority of my sessions. Because of the periods of time, it requires to be on call for my birth clients 24/7 (oftentimes up to 4 weeks at a time), I need to once again scale down on all other types of sessions in order to manage my schedule and give my clients the best custom experience I can.
My schedule is already full from January through May with 1 or 2 spots for birth clients. I have availability for one birth client in March, and 1 in late May.
I will be blocking off September for fall family sessions and will fill first with returning clients. Please reach out to me in advance if you would like to reserve your spot for September.
Here is looking forward with anticipation of what 2021 will bring! Have a blessed New Year!
Friday, January 1st, 2021
By Her Side
‘By Her Side’ were the first words that came to mind thinking back on their birth story. There was not a moment that Brianne was not surrounded with love and support as she brought her precious Emerson earthside. You’ll see it all through her birth images and birth story film (be sure to check it out at the end of this post). I am excited to finally share this beautiful and special birth story.
This birth story is extra special because Brianne is my sweet friend and fellow birth photographer and artist behind Brianne Hidalgo Photos + Films here in Las Vegas. We have been backups for each other for the past year and have changed, and have had so many wonderful conversations and meetings of the minds on how to best serve our community and support each other. She has such a smart business sense and is community-minded, not to mention incredibly talented. I was so happy to have found her. So, when she asked me to document her own birth, I was ecstatic!
Brianne had delivered in the hospital with her daughter. She was excited about the opportunity to deliver at home with one of our local midwives Sherry Hopkins of Well Rounded Mama. Emily Espinosa a certified doula with Well Rounded Mama was her certified doula and was so in tune with Brianne and was so attentive and professional.
As it seems to happen most often, Brianne went into labor during nighttime. Right before she let me know that her water had broken and her contractions were irregular but becoming more and more consistent and would call when they became more regular and intense. Just a few hours later she called me to come on over! Since I live on the completely opposite side of town, I got ready and headed out immediately, arriving just after midnight.
Once I arrived, Brianne’s contractions intensified pretty quickly, yet she remained so focused and determined. Her husband and daughter stayed by her side, providing physical support and words of encouragement. It was so cute when her daughter even directed her to breathe through her contractions.
Brianne was so close, and to assist in the rotation of her baby, her birth team assisted her out of the tub and to her bed and side-lying. The lights were dimmed for rest.
The movement and position change was just what she needed and pretty quickly she had the urge to push. Things moved pretty quickly at this point and after just a few pushes, her sweet baby was in her arms.
At 0318 with her family by her side, Brianne delivered this sweet boy.
One of the things I love most about home births is the postpartum period after delivery. I love seeing how comfortable moms are at home in their beds, with their family members by their sides, with no rushed bonding or timelines. It feels so relaxed and natural.
And, finally, their birth story film. I love seeing birth stories through video; it adds such a beautiful element and shows emotion and moments that can’t be as fully captured in still images.
Thank you so much, Hidalgo family, for trusting me with your birth story!
Thursday, December 3rd, 2020
The Birth of Sloan Michael
I have had the pleasure of documenting this family from their first maternity session with their oldest right on through the birth of sweet little Sloan. Year after year, they returned to me and trusted me to document their maternity, newborn, birth, and family sessions.
It is an understatement to say I get a little emotional working on their images. In fact, their daughter’s birth was the first birth I documented as I made the brave and bold move in rebranding from posed newborn into specializing in birth photography here in Las Vegas.
There have been so many surprises during this season of their life. They thought they were done having children, and this little one came along unexpectedly. When they surprised me with the news during their family session last fall, I just about died! Of course, documenting this birth was just as important, or maybe even more so, knowing it was their last. So, we began planning right away. Then surprise… COVID.
There was so much anticipation leading up to their birth, and this strong mama worked right up to the days preceding their delivery. They wanted to revel, soak up, and enjoy every moment. This was the first time they waited to find out the gender until birth. It made it so much more fun!
Nicole went into labor with the plan of listening to her body and deciding on an epidural, depending on how things went and how well she tolerated her contractions. She was so incredibly strong and maintained her composure throughout. I was completely in awe of her strength and determination.
Nicole and Shawn are such amazing parents, and being away from the older two while they were in the hospital was hard. Thank goodness for FaceTime and family! It was important to them to capture as much as they could of siblings’ meetings for the first time, and since a Fresh 48 session was not an option because of restrictions, we did the next best thing and documented it as they came home!
The meeting went even better than expected. Big sister was convinced she had a baby sister, so we expected some disappointment, and there was zero! They were both completely smitten by their new baby brother and wanted to check out every little detail.
And lastly, we were able to document their newborn session two weeks later in the comfort of their own home, where everyone felt at home and comfortable. Big brother and sister were still as smitten with their new baby brother, and it was so fun to see how they had all just fallen deeply and madly in love with this little guy.
And finally, their beautiful birth story is told even more beautifully in film. Oh, what I would give to have my births captured forever in a complete birth story. I love that I can give this to the families that trust me with such an intimate and important time in their lives. Enjoy!
Friday, October 2nd, 2020
How to Stay Supported
Giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic has left many families struggling to stay supported during life’s most important and intimate moment.
I cannot think of an industry or group of people not affected in some way by the COVID-19 pandemic ravaging the world, and there is no doubt that the ripple effects will continue into the weeks and months ahead.
As a birth photographer, it has affected my business, and while I am fearful for my future, my biggest fears are for the families I serve. My current clients won’t have their births documented during the pandemic due to hospital restrictions and stay-at-home orders.
I completely understand the necessity of restricting visitors, and even immediate family members to ensure the safety of patients and staff within the hospitals, and to slow the spread of the virus.
Yet, my heart hurts that women will be without the support teams they had planned for. At such a vulnerable time in life, being isolated from family, children, and your support team can have strong effects on women and how they process their birth, including the emotions, physical changes, and challenges they face not only during birth but in the weeks and months that follow.
Most families hire me early on in their pregnancies, seeing the emotional impact that documenting their birth holds. I believe that value to my core; I have seen how important it is for so many women and families in processing their birth stories.
Rather than focus on the loss of not being able to be there physically for my clients, I hope that this post will bring real tips and advice on how to navigate this period despite the obstacles, and hopefully help you to feel supported even though it may look different.
With some changes to your birth plan and hopefully with some tips here, you can be prepared!
Talk To Your Support Team
Talk to your spouse, partner, or whoever will be your support person. Have conversations about what your anticipated needs are. Of course, birth is completely unpredictable; even having given birth before, each can look so different. Talking about ways language and touch normally bring you comfort can really help. Don’t assume that your support person will know exactly what you need. Offering each other grace throughout will go a long way. I have had families come up with code words for when they need introspective time with no touch or verbal cues, and vice versa; code words for when they are needing that extra verbal, moral, and physical support.
Talk to your extended support team as well. Even though they can’t physically be present for you, their words of encouragement and support can go a long way. Coming up with a plan of when and how you will communicate with each other will help; that way, there are no hurt feelings—perhaps deciding on whether they should reach out to you at set intervals or whether to wait for you to reach out when you are ready. Decide if you prefer phone calls, FaceTime, or texts. Sometimes, seeing your children’s faces via FaceTime can breathe life back into you.
This can be so vital for your support person as well, who often needs those words of encouragement. Remind your extended birth team to check on him or her as well.
Birth can be long and drawn out and just hearing that you are doing a good job and are loved and supported can go a long way for both of you!
Consider Hiring a Doula
You may not have even considered hiring a doula with the restrictions in place because of COVID-19. Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Why would I hire a doula that can’t even be there in person?” I would argue the opposite, doulas are such a great resource and support for women and their families, and their roles can be even more vital during this time! Many doulas are currently offering virtual services that will benefit you not only during your labor, delivery, and postpartum period but through those first weeks at home navigating breastfeeding and all that goes into caring for a newborn without the physical support of family and friends.
The role of the doula is to provide continuous emotional and physical support and information before birth with information on research and choices.
They can help with comfort measures like massage, suggesting different positions, and helping with relaxation breathing. They encourage communication with doctors and nursing staff (a doula does not give medical advice or interfere with the doctor/mother relationship).
Supporting the father or birth partner is the best way to support the mother. A doula never replaces the very important role of the birth partner, and a good doula will help the birth partner by offering suggestions and tips on ways to be supportive. Providing real-time feedback and suggestions to assist you physically and emotionally during all phases of labor and delivery can be vital.
Doula support is helpful not only during labor but also during the postpartum period.
During the postpartum period, when women are even more isolated during stay-at-home orders and social distancing recommendations, this support is even more vital. Needing help with breastfeeding and general questions about newborn care can be even more challenging with mothers more isolated than ever. With the increased risk of postpartum depression, having that support to encourage you and provide real feedback on how you are doing is vital. Although they can’t be there physically, being able to let you know you are not alone in your feelings and fears can, on its own, provide so much comfort.
I will link to some of these resources at the end of this post.
Communicate with your nurse and obstetrician/midwife.
As a retired labor and delivery nurse of 19 years here in the Las Vegas valley (2000-2019), I can tell you that keeping an open line of communication with your nurse and obstetrician or midwife can be so important in ensuring there is no miscommunication. Communication helps in keeping your wishes honored and information about procedures clear.
Their hearts hurt for you during this period. They understand how scary it can be to be in the hospital away from your family, friends, and children during this pandemic.
Your labor nurse is by far the person you will spend the most time within the hospital setting. With 12-hour shifts, she will spend long periods with you and is there to care for you and your baby. She is also a great resource for your support person to ensure they are supported, encouraged, and held. Lean on her and the support she can provide.
Talk to your obstetrician or midwife ahead of time about the current hospital restrictions and what you can expect. Talk about your fears and wishes. I believe miscommunication is the most common cause of hurt and pain in the birth setting.
DO YOUR BEST TO DOCUMENT YOUR OWN BIRTH
And lastly, I highly suggest doing your best to still document your birth. Documenting your birth can be so important in healing and processing birth’s emotions. Your birth may be long and drawn out, with so much of it becoming a blur, or it may be so fast and intense that just laboring on its takes every ounce of your concentration. Your baby may go to the warmer, and while you are being cleaned up and monitored after delivery, not seeing those moments up close can be hard.
My clients hold, look at, and watch many moments over and over in the periods following their births. I have clients who watch their birth films over and over that first year and again each birthday.
Don’t be afraid to ask your nurse and staff to help capture images of you together, your support partner, etc., when they can. Often, you need to ask; they are almost always happy to oblige!
I created a guide for my upcoming birth clients with suggestions on how to document your own birth in hopes that it will help them with real tips and guidance. I am happy to share it, contact me here and I will send it to you when you sign up for my newsletter.
Although one of many reasons I am passionate about documenting birth is that it allows your support and birth team to be present IN the images and footage. Things may not be as you envisioned them during this time, but they can still be wonderful!
Friday, April 17th, 2020
